I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
