My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
