I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
