its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
