i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
