Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Randomize
