I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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