nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
