The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
