I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
