you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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