I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle