At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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