i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
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