My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize