Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
