I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
