he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
