i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
It's never too late to be topless.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
