Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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