guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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