shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
