buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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