im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
