Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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