It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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