I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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