I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
