do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize