Kiss
Puke
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
