i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
