We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize