i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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