i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
