She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
