on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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