I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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