May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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