It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
