R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
