More tranny stories later!
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
