lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
