I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
