I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
