Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
