if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
