My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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