You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
