if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
