I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
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