I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
