dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
