i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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