what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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