Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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