i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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