Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
