dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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