I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
