I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
You are a genius and a whore.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
