Where are you?
In a non slutty way
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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