She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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