Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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