fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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