at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I still have a little drunk in my system
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
